They say “have no regrets” – and in a way I don’t. But there’s def some things I wish I learnt sooner.
For one, I wish someone told me before that the skills you need as a good yoga teacher are different to the skills you need as a good business owner. I wish someone told me before that in order to care about the things that matter most, you have to stop caring about the things that are out of your control.
They call it “growing a thicker skin” – but tbh that image makes me recoil – it makes me think of an alligator or a rhino or something. Because no, I don’t want thick skin. I don’t want to be indifferent. I don’t want to be caustic or callused. That doesn’t mean I’m aspiring to stay “sensitive” in the normal understanding of the word. But in a world of insensitivity, hardness and emotionless stoicism – I want to be able to stay soft without being fragile. I want to be able to notice subtlety and shifts without allowing them to knock me over. I want to be able to have empathy without abandoning my boundaries.
Brene Brown describes it as having a “strong back, soft front, wild heart.” And in the spirit of this gentle resilience, I made a list of a few things that I’m learning to care less about – so that I can channel my energy towards the people and creations that are actually worth giving a f@*k about.
This subject is a sticky one – there’s all kinds of emotions involved. And I def haven’t “cracked the emotional code.” But I’m getting there 🙂
The turning point for me was when I realised that no matter what price I put on something, it would always be too expensive for some. And the honest truth is because if something isn’t right for someone, the price will never be right either.
Also…contrary to popular opinion, I truly believe there’s no such thing as “selling yourself.” Sure, you’re selling some of your experience, your insights, your hard-earned tools and strategies for success. But no amount of money in the world would be enough to encapsulate all that you are. So all you can do is take portions of it, and package it up in a way that helps others: through services, products, or other channels of energy.
When I first started teaching, I remember being available ALL the time. 5am on a Monday? Friday evening? My birthday weekend? I’m THERE. And I might get hate for this – but I know in my heart that it was 100% the right thing for me to do – at the time. I needed to get the hours in. Because when we’re starting out, the only thing we have in abundance is time. And we should be doing all we can to exchange it for income. But there does come a tipping point where we start valuing our time more than another potential sale – and when that time comes, we need to lean into the abundance of doing less, but doing it more intentionally.
Doesn’t matter if it’s a guy or a client – it happens. It sucks. But sometimes it’s not in our control – and it’s more helpful to focus on the people who are actively choosing to stay connected to you – because they’re the ones worth your attention.
I’m very lucky that 99% of the women that I work with “get” it. We’re all in the same boat – we’re all service based businesses trying to help others live happier lives. But every once in a while I’ll get a little test from the universe with someone who comes along who doesn’t respect my time or calendar – and in those cases, I need to be brave enough to enforce my policies – not because “it’s just business” but rather because it’s a balanced energetic exchange.
NGL this still stings sometimes – even though I know that those who truly know my story also know how far off from the truth this is. But what I keep telling myself is that I can be grateful for the abundance that I’ve manifested without denying that it’s not been an easy ride. And no matter where we are in our journeys, there are always going to be those who feel like we have it too easy, or that life was just handed to us – and in those cases, we need to just love them and leave them alone 🙂
Talk to me: Would you add anything to this list? Let me know 🙂
ALSO: the Yoga Boss Mentorship is SOLD OUT for 2023 – but if you know you need help in your yoga business – get on the waitlist so you can jump the queue as soon as doors open x